The Invention of Everything: Amsterdam


Do you know that hungry feeling after a night out in Rotterdam? Just before the closing time, the discussion starts where to eat. Get yourselves a McDonald’s menu or go to a Turkish restaurant? For a long time, I believed we as Rotterdam residents got something to be proud of, the Kapsalon. Shoarma or Döner, fries, melted cheese, salad, garlic sauce, and – optional – hot sauce. Splendid meal before going to bed after a night out. Rotterdam’s favourite. 

Recent claims, however, pushed me in the position to make my apologies to Amsterdam for thinking that the Kapsalon originated from the second city of the Netherlands. Such stupidity! Of course, it was invented in our capital. It’s so sad to see a typical Amsterdam invention stolen through those jealous and arrogant people in Rotterdam. I bet it must be very frustrating living in a city where everything is taken away from you through indecent claims. That modest attitude from people in Amsterdam is something we should treat with dignity. I’m glad finally someone stepped over that restraint and claimed that the Kapsalon actually was invented in Amsterdam.

This might be a first step in the process to reclaim what is actually theirs. History books should be revised as well. Those jealous Greeks claimed to have invented democracy. What a joke! You don’t have to study history to know that it all started in Amsterdam. People outside Amsterdam are simply too arrogant to grand our unpretentious first city this privilege. Humanity originated in Africa, at least, historians claim that the Homo Sapiens originated in that continent. Again, prove that we simply do not allow Amsterdam to enjoy this privilege. According to Amsterdam historians, life started at the Dam

The microchip, space shuttles, even the wheel was discovered in Amsterdam. Can you imagine those silly Englishmen being proud of William Shakespeare while we all know he was actually born in the Jordaan? The first man on the moon carried the pseudonym Neil Armstrong. No one knows his real name but fortunately, we know where he is from. Gunpowder, telephones, too many things to mention. I predict this will be an interesting summer for Amsterdam full of revision after they rightfully claimed the Kapsalonto be theirs. After that revision, we finally know where the person came from who really discovered America and which city discovered electricity. 

Obviously, Rotterdam invented the Kapsalon. And no, history books don’t need revision because of this. It does Amsterdam credit if they stop claiming what isn’t theirs. Leave us alone! 😉

Hi, I’m Milan Weber (25). Currently, I am finishing my premaster program in order to start the master Global History and International Relations next year. Next to my program at the University, I teach ‘Dutch’ as a language to predominantly refugee children, however I actually studied to become a history teacher. I am really interested in the backgrounds of the children I am teaching, they have got interesting stories to tell. Also, I am interested in football culture (written in Dutch) and travelling. Every year I try to travel outside Europe and together with friends I attend many football games. 

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