It’s ok to be insecure
“It’s okay to be insecure” – Cindy Crawford
Before reading this article, please ask yourself the following questions. Are you satisfied with yourself? Do you ever feel like you’re worth nothing? Do you often or sometimes think you are a failure, that you have nothing that you can be proud of? I bet you do, I bet everyone feels that way sometimes. I do have this feeling, quite often actually. I felt ashamed of it, and I didn’t dare to tell anyone (except for my friends of course) about how I felt about myself. I just pretended like everything was fine and ok. But then I saw Cindy Crawford’s post on Facebook: “It’s ok to be insecure, it’s natural, but don’t let it stop you in your tracks”. The post has been liked for 12.861 times and has been shared for 505 times. There were over a hundred comments from people who agreed with her. This post made me think about my insecurity and how it affected my life sometimes. At the same time, I felt astonished (?) because why on earth would a woman so beautiful feel insecure about herself? The answer, given by herself in an interview, was simple: “I’m a woman, so I’m insecure like every other woman”. This sounded just as comforting to me as frightening. It’s nice to know that everyone feels insecure sometimes, even the most beautiful woman. But it’s not fair that because we are women we are more insecure. Sadly, this has been proven by research from professors from Harvard. Only 4% of the women felt pretty and secure. Only 4%! That was a shocker for me. 65% of the women said that they were hindered by their insecurity. That means they skipped events, felt hindered in their career and so on. I recognized this and also felt that my insecurity affected my life sometimes in a bad way. I believe that’s not a good thing, and that’s why I’m writing this article right now!
Insecurity is not a bad thing until it affects your life badly. When it affects your life badly, it means that you have a low self-esteem. When you keep getting yourself down, don’t do the things you want to do or if it affects your relationships with others (think about jealousy). Do you want to know how insecure you are and if you have a low self-esteem? On the following site you find a couple of questions about yourself. This is called the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. The Scale ranges from 0-30. You are within normal ranges if you score between 15 and 25. If you are below 15 you have a low self-esteem.
This is the site: https://www.wwnorton.com/college/psych/psychsci/media/rosenberg.htm
Sadly I scored a 12, so that means I have a low self-esteem. I have to work on this, but how? I found 5 steps to become less insecure. Try them out!
- Make an inventory. This means that you have to write 10 positive things about yourself (things that you like about yourself), and 10 negative things (things you don’t like about yourself). Look at it from time to time to remind yourself that for every bad thing you find about yourself there is a good thing about yourself.
- Have realistic thoughts. You can’t be the perfect student, the perfect girlfriend or boyfriend, the perfect son or daughter, the perfect friend, have the perfect body or have the perfect mood all together! But you can be a student that mostly gets acceptable grades, a girlfriend or boyfriend that loves their partner, a lovable son or daughter and so on! You are human, so you can make mistakes or behave in a bad way sometimes.
- Lose perfectionism. You don’t have to be perfect, no one is!
- Get to know yourself. Think about who you want to be, what you want to learn or experience. Broaden your horizon!
- Don’t compare yourself to others. This one sounds easier than it is these days.. Since there is Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and so on it is hard to not compare your life with others. You will always be ‘pushed’ to look at what other people are doing and how much fun they have. But remember: those people don’t have the perfect life! There is probably much going on behind their Facebook posts that you don’t know about. They feel the same as you, looking at their Facebook!
I hope this article will be helpfull for some of you. At least these steps where helpful for me! Remember that insecurity is OK, but don’t let it affect your life. Do the things you love, don’t ever let your own negative feelings take over your life! You are awesome in every way, don’t ever let anyone (especially yourself) tell you different!
If you want to know more about insecurity in the top model world, read the following article written by Olivia on Credo Magazine.
By Lena van de Lande