Disadvantage of comparison
“We are sun and moon, dear friend; we are sea and land. It is not our purpose to become each other; it is to recognize each other, to learn to see the other and honor him for what he is: each the other’s opposite and complement.”
– Hermann Hesse
I do this thing that I’m not proud of – I compare myself to others a lot. She’s more beautiful than me, he has a bigger charisma, and so on. I’m sure I’m not the only one doing this, but that’s not a good, nor a healthy thing… It probably comes from our insecurities which might have appeared because of the stuff that happened in the past. But I don’t think that it’s fair. How can we compare others to ourselves- we are all so different! One has more in here, the other has more in there. Why to measure these things?
I often have this weird feeling when I look at a person and think: oh god, what an exciting life she must be living! Or: wow, this guy has his life together! One time my friend told me that she accidentally spat on her neighbor’s head out of her balcony and I thought: oh man, this is some funny stuff, why aren’t things like that happening in my life? And another time I became jealous because my friend vacuums his carpet every day! Seriously? I guess this is something we always do: look at others thinking that they definitely have more- are cooler, more interesting and such. But those people do the same! And some people look at you with thoughts in their head: oh, she is so funny, why can’t I make others laugh this much?
The point is that we are all cool in our own ways! At least I hope so…. I don’t think there’s any point in comparing yourself to others and cursing at some higher forces that they gave us less than to others. Of course, maybe there are billionaires, Noble prize winners… Sure, you might think they have more, but they probably lie in their beds at night not wanting to wake up tomorrow, because they think: ah, I just want to sit on the sofa 24/7 not worrying about the dust on the pile of my money… Every person struggles, despite the fact that their account numbers are higher than ours or their teeth are all white and still there…
In numbers or facts some people might have more than others, so their problems might be different, but they are still there! Presidents probably worry as much as that guy working in a call center that helped you to install your internet yesterday. I think we all should just stop for a second and realize that we are all our own-selves. Yes, that girl at work is prettier in my perception, but how the hell does this thought make my life easier?! All I can do is to just do my own thing, reach for my own goals and try to be the best person I can actually be.
What is more, comparisons rob the precious time from us. We each get 86,400 seconds a day and using even one to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many. I think a lot of anger and bad emotions also come from the feeling of jealousy and thoughts like: this is so unfair! But you don’t really know what’s fair! You probably have a lot more than you think you do! So why not just appreciate the stuff you have? I know, it’s easy to say: hey, look at all of the people that don’t even have a roof above their heads, but that is not the point in this case. The thing is that despite of what we have, we all struggle, cry and have stuff to cope with! If at the moment I say that someone is prettier than me I would just stop and think for a minute: why the hell am I doing this? Would my life be better if I would look like Scarlett Johansson? Probably all of the girls would answer yes right now, but no! With these things other problems come and we will never just have no worries.
So, maybe let’s just stop sometimes and look from other perspectives? We are all different, unique and rich in our own ways and we also come with our own kind of problems, so there is no point in comparing all the time and meanly thinking that having something that another has would be fair. Let’s be our-awesome-selves and appreciate even the little beautiful things in us and around us! Trust me, this helps!
By Laisvyda Andrejevaite