36 questions that lead to love
The key to fall in love?
The key to fall in love: does that even exist? Most of the time it just happens, that’s not something you can influence. According to psychologist Arthur Aron, however, there is a key to fall in love! He claims that there is a simple way to fall for someone, or a way to get closer to someone. This will only take you less than one hour.
Arthur Aron works at the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Stony Brook University in New York, and he published his results in “The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness” in Personality and Social Psychology.
How does it work?
It works like this: intimacy can be accelerated between two strangers by having them ask each other 36 personal questions. You can try this with a complete stranger, but you can also try this with a friend to get closer to him or her. These questions are broken up into three sets and each set is more heart-to-heart than the previous one. After these questions the strangers must stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes.
After these questions you feel closer to someone, because you’ve just shared a lot of personal things. The idea is that mutual vulnerability creates closeness. Psychologist Arthur Aron assumes that love is not something that happens to you, but that love is an action. These 36 questions generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to exist.
So, if you feel like you need to get closer to your friend or boyfriend, or if you want to fall in love with a complete stranger: give this test a try!
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By Lena van de Lande
Graphic by Inessa Khemii